The Great Buckles & Bulls Breakdown
"Buckles,
you say?" asked Cowboy Bob.
"Indeed, buckles,"
said I.
There was little more for us to say on the subject of buckles. Cowboy Bob was
a dead ringer for Juliet Proust in drag, and a comely cowboy he wasn't. For what
it's worth. I mean, none too many real cowboys look like Val Kilmer, that's fer
sure. Anyway, ol' C.B. was always a frequent visitor to our shop, GoldMountainTrading
but now that he's gotten himself over that whole The Great Buckles & Bulls
Breakdown of his, well, we see him even more.
It had been four months
since Cowboy Bob was released from the Tylene County Hospital. He had a quite
a blow to the noggin' at that summer's fair, trying perhaps one year too many
to make those eight seconds holdin' on to the back of an angry bull. Like always,
he cinched down his buckles and held on for life.
Buckles Can Be Your Enemy
Well, we won't provide
you with too many of the details, but let's just say that buckles can be your
friend and buckles can also do some dastardly things to you. You don't think so?
I need to tell ya that we've been sellin' buckles here at GoldMountainTrading
for a lot of years and, well, buckles can be really, really unforgiving if you're
lookin' at one comin' at ya full speed ahead. But wait: I promised not to share
those gory details about buckles and one particular man and, ahem, The Accident.
"Yes, Bob, it was buckles that got you in the hospital."
I didn't want to
tell him this but quite a number of not-so-polite people had intimated to him
that it really wasn't the bull that caused him to be hauled off by ambulance.
Despite the trauma, he had remembered chattin' me up there at the 43rd Annual
Tylene Buckles Invitational Rodeo. Actually, our convo was just a few short
minutes before his ill-fated Buckles & Bulls Breakdown, so he kinda had
me cornered. Ironically, I was cornered right there at GoldMountainTrading
to the right of our Montana belt buckles display. And our Indian buckles display
was just on the left.
"Now, what
in tarnation are you handin' me, Mr. Baskin?"
Buckles
Were The Cause
The jig was up. I
had been avoiding this talk about the buckles with C.B. for four months but he
now, finally, was going to make me cough it up and embarrass him by relaying the
whole story of how buckles - buckles! - were the cause, occasion, and very reason
he was thrown off that bull so inelegantly.
But see, here's the thing: I ain't gonna be tellin' ya the goings on about Cowboy
Bob's Buckles & Bulls Breakdown. Ya see, I've got what we in the business
refer to as "ulterior motives". Cuz if you've read all the way through
this silly little article of mine then the chances are pretty good that you love
buckles as much as we do here at GoldMountainTrading.
And my designs are on getting you into our store and see all our buckles! (Or
just check out our website.) Cowboy Bob comes by almost
every day so the chances are darned fine that you'll be able to catch up with
him. He's gotten over the humiliation factor and now just sees the whole buckles
episode as one big knee slapper. So he'll love to tell ya all about how buckles
almost did him in.
Come on by and set a spell with us and Bob and an ice cold sasparilla!